Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
