Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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