i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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