And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
