how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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