I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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