So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
