We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
