is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
