And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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