Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
