I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
