What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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