So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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