i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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