For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
