Kareoke will never be a sober sport
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
