I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
