I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize