Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize