I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
