It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
