Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
