I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
No subtext here. People are naked.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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