i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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