i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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