I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
