he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
