brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
And then he peed in my hair
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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