I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
