Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
