Plan B is the new Plan A
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We have started to decorate penises.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
