I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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