My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
