I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
