but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
