You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my vag is so smooth its legendary
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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