Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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