I'm lost and stupid without you.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize