this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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