So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
