Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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