I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Randomize
