i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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