Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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