it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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