I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
