just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
