it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
