He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
