He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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