we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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