was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
