Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
