I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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