I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
MIDGETS
????
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
