Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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