Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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