My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
