He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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