I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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