is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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