I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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