shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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