At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
