I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize