He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
