Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
