Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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