I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
